Tub notes. Sam Elliott is not in this post but will be someday

So I sit here in my tub having one of the last baths  I'll have in this house my family shared for almost 20 years, and while this tub has been almost a sacred place of renewal, place to cry when I didn't want anyone else to see, place to soothe my sore muscles and bruised emotions when nothing or no one else could-I I find it kind of bittersweet now. My new place won't have a tub at least for a long time, And the prospect of life without a deep soaker tub is frankly a little disheartening. And now  this tub that is felt like home for me and for so many years is kind of feeling less and less that way. Kind a like the shell that is this house now that the people in the things I love are pretty much out of it. My life looks so different now. it is so different than I ever imagined it being. I never thought I would leave this house unless I moved to Idaho where my second heart is. Turns out it's just a shell. It's just a wall and ceiling that sometimes leaks. Its been lived in, loved in, devastated in, just kind of laid there in, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, going on with life in . And I will so miss this house and this tub-but I'm so glad to be leaving this house and this tub. My life now is my family with my two girls ,a crazy cat ,my wonderful family and friends ,and what or whoever life happens to throw at me. And I can't wait for what's ahead. I'll probably cry the last time I have that bath which is coming very soon. I miss the family that was in this house, But the family that's risen from the ashes is strong, beautiful and I'm so proud of it! I thought I would have the hardest time leaving and it has not been without it several bunches of tears and it's not been without it stresses-no house sale goes without hiccups and wanting to pull your hair out. But I am really ready to shut the door on the part of the life that was in this house and move on to the new part. I really like who the woman is who used to live in this house. She is fine, fun, funny, emotional, caring,vulnerable, witty, has cellulite, loves her daughters fiercely, and loves herself ---FINALLY!!